Today is Tuesday. Last Friday my son turned 18. It has been slowly sinking in for the last four days that this is a major turning point in my life. I don't really know the difference between a turning point, a cornerstone, a milestone, and a foundation stone, but you know what I mean.
I have always been a wannabe perfect parent, but I am well aware that I have made countless mistakes in handling a lot of tough situations in childcare. Regrets are an indulgence. I have apologised to my son many times in the past 18 years and have always tried to learn from my mistakes and to better myself.
The only good thing I have done, I guess, is I didn't camouflage my blood, sweat, and tears from him...literally... He witnessed everything and consequently he's learnt from my mistakes. I'm not a doting parent, but he generally grasps things quicker than me, which makes him a smarter person than I am. I'm happy with that. I feel that he outstripped me, which is an achievement in itself.
My worry now is if I can restrain myself from interfering with his life out of habits, i.e. asking stuff not for his sake but for my curiosity. As a single parent I had to supervise almost every aspect of his life on my own. I had to know where he is going at what time with who. Not any more. It's entirely his life, not mine.
The difficulty lies in the fact that I still have to feed him until he goes to uni in four months' time and have to stay put forever as a parent in case he needs me, and yet I'm not supposed to ask him anything. I have to respect his newly-acquired independence and privacy. It's so unfair...
Having said that, the flip side of this event is that I am regaining my freedom as an independent adult. Woohoo!
This recipe is for my solo lunch and the amount is very vague. You can do what you like, really.
Ingredients (for 1 person):
100g linguine (or any pasta you like)
a handful of cherry tomatoes, halved
half a teaspoon of dried chilli flakes
1 clove garlic
a handful of parsley, chopped
a handful of cooked seafood from a packet
While the pasta is cooking, just pour some olive oil in a frying pan and add chopped garlic, chilli flakes, and cherry tomatoes. Cook down a bit and throw in some cooked seafood and parsley. Heat through for a few minutes, turn off the heat, and season with salt and pepper.
Mix with cooked pasta.